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I like to think that black holes are full of nipples

I like to think that if I fell towards a black hole, the truth would be revealed at the event horizon and I’d scream into the intercom:

“My gawd, it’s full of nipples!”

And then relativity would dilate time such that my message would take a century to be fully decoded by the rest of humanity. And upon finally getting the last byte of info, they’d glance at each other, smack their foreheads, and say:

“Truly, he was completely cuckoo.”

But they’d be wrong because the black hole would genuinely have been full of nipples: so many that critical mass was exceeded and not only mammals but even light itself couldn’t escape nipple bondage.

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From quarks to quasars, from the dawn of time to the distant future, I explore galaxies and suns and worlds, surf the gravity waves of spacetime, encounter beings that live in fire and ice, explore planets of stars that never die, discover atoms as massive as suns and universes smaller than atoms.

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